What If
by xpowellyx
Summary: What if a vampire could die by natural causes? Probably one shot - comment if you want me to continue.
1. The Nightmare

**The Nightmare**

_Bella_

I woke with a start, my eyes wide open, my breathing faltering, my forehead clammy. My heart racing.  
The worst nightmare of my _life_.  
You ever get that feeling when you're dreaming... and you suddenly feel like you're falling? That gut wrenching feeling that you can hardly hold back from yelling from, so loud it would wake up your neighbor hood?  
It started beautifully, my ideal dream. Edward and I walking, hand in hand, through the meadow. It's summer. It's sunny, for a change. Flowers are blooming around us. It looks like a twisted fairytale, of sorts; just how I like it. His skin is glittering, glistening. Pure beauty. We're both smiling, happy. Happy.  
And then the grey clouds roll over us, casting a shadow over the morning dew grass. Edward's skin stops glittering all of a sudden. His wonderful crooked smile fades away as if it never existed, the clouds and rain taking away all joy from my happy place.  
His skin starts to turn... grey. Grey like a worn porcelain doll that's lost all its gloss.  
His face turns from my favorite smile into my dreaded expression. His eyebrows pull together in anxiety, his eyes weak, vulnerable. I feel a resounding urge to protect him, as if I could.  
If only I could.  
His lips, his mouth, his smile turn to minor. They pull at the edges downwards into a fear so strong that it isn't feasible for a vampire like Edward to feel.  
He reaches one, icy hand towards me, fingers curled at the ends, as if in some unimaginable pain. My mind is darting around all possibilities in confusion. What's going on? Where is Jane hiding? But there is no one else but us in this haunted dream.  
At the very side of his face, by his temple, I see a slight line form. Not a crease of the skin, but a line... a crack. A crack forming in his skin. I go to talk, to reassure, but I find I can't speak, my voice box being muted by an invisible remote control.

The crack expands, elongates, forms tiny, little minion cracks, stretching across his angelic face, ruining it. His face turns paler, into a more sickly grey, almost matching the clouds above us. The crack is obviously breaking his skin, yet no blood emerges. Just breaking him, like stone, marble: a statue.  
My inability to speak or move leaves me no choice but to watch this happen. Segments of his face crumble away, fall to the ground, and make a black stain where they fall. Moment by moment, Edward is turning into an aging statue, withering, crumbling away: dying.

_And there's nothing I can do._


	2. Back to Reality

**Back to Reality**

_Bella_

I sit up, and look around, just in case. My room, for sure. Same bland, purple walls, same babyish collages from my childhood hung proudly in a frame on my wall. My curtains are drawn, blocking out any potential light. And any potential Edward, as Charlie is on high alert.  
I look at my clock. Eleven fifteen am: I'm late for school.  
I hurriedly pack my bags and books and lunch, get changed into something sloppy, run to the door, remember I need to keys and my mac, run back up the stairs, and run out the door again. Shoot, shoot, _shoot._ Today's our big Biology exam, which starts in... thirty-four minutes.  
Fantastic.

I drive as fast as my loyal old Chevy will take me, roughly five miles an hour. I decide on taking the alternative route; I can't be late.  
When I eventually get there, I am greeted by a lovely, ghost town car park, with a grand total of two occupants: me, and my head teacher, Mrs Lawson.  
Cursing under my breath, I jog round the long way to avoid her evil glare. Luckily, Biochem is just round the corner from this way. As I arrive, I look around the class, and everyone is just sitting down. In the nick of time.  
Despite my common sense screaming at me, I still have the hint of doubt whispering in my ear, forcing me to search for Edward, and his perfectly preserved - non crumbling - face. There he is, sitting in his regular spot at our desk, grinning at me. With the same crooked smile he always does. He winks at me, and pats the spot next to him.

The biochem test goes on well, with the occasional interruption of a comment from Edward, generally about how bored he is. I don't blame him, I can't imagine having done this test a countless amount of times. Occasionally, I'll glance up - just to look at him. To check his face is still the usual shade of white, with the tiny, _tiny_ flush of color to it. He looks all the more stunning when he's concentrating, his eyebrows pulled together in faux intrigue. One time I look up, he notices, and chuckles softly, music to my ears.  
"What?" He smiles.  
I stutter awkwardly. "Nothing."  
"No, what is it?" He presses. I don't worry about Mr. Banner disqualifying us from the paper: too many experiences of Edward talking us both out of any form of trouble has permanently cooled my nerves.  
"It's..." I sigh. "I'll tell you later."  
"Bella. I have nothing better to do. I've got nothing but time for you to bore me with, if you want to." He laughs teasingly.  
"Just a little nightmare." I try to give the smallest clue, just to shut him up. But it turns out it does the exact opposite. He turns worried.  
"What is it, Bella? Oh, I knew I shouldn't have allowed the discontinuing of night visits," he laughs. "What was it about?"  
"Nothing, Edward, shut up."  
"Come on, Bella."  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
"What if I--"  
"No."

Edward grimaces. "Fine." He sulks, turning away, back to filling in the boxes. The sight of him being annoyed with me is too much to bear.  
"Fine. It was about you." I spill, and instantly regret it. He turns back to me slowly, a look of dismay tainting his face.

"Do go on, Bella?"


	3. Explain Yourself

**Explain Yourself**

_Bella_

"Uh... I..." I shut my eyes tight and shook my head, trying to think, find a believable way to explain what happened without me sounding insane. Perhaps I was.  
"You... you were..." I stopped again, and went to bang my head on the desk. Edward put his hand there before it got within any distance of the surface.  
"Hey, hey, what is it, Bella."  
On that cue, the bell rang as if working to help me.  
"Alright, kids," Mr Banner yelled across the noisy class, "if you'll all just form an orderly queue to my desk, and make a neat pile of your papers just by--"  
He was cut off by students walking into his, pushing and shoving, eager to get to lunch. I used this opportunity to make my escape. I picked up all my books in a rush, stuffed them in my bag, and headed for the door. Of course, Edward was there before I was.  
"Bella." He said in a monotone, stubborn tone, putting his arm around my shoulders. I kept my head down, refused to look at him - just in case his face happened to disintegrate. "Honestly. If you don't tell me, I'll get Jasper on you," he laughed slightly. "I'll make him make you in a... cooperative mood. Or I can just use Alice, you know. She probably would have seen your dream anyway, unless..." he stopped abruptly, looking concerned. "Don't tell me it involved that _mutt..." _He muttered, his lips unmoving, his teeth gritted.  
"No, I'll tell you that for free, Jacob was not involved." I said, fiddling with my locker, trying to get it to turn. "Stupid thing..."

Edward tapped his fist effortlessly to it once, and the door swung open. He lent against the wall, looking as perfect as if he were sculpted by Michelangelo. Just my luck, any second now a swarm of dim, pretty and gawking freshmen would gather in a frenzy to giggle amongst each other, their gaze never leaving Edward.

He stayed silent, staring into the distance, making his grumpy face. He was so childish. But it still made me desperate to make it stop.  
I slammed my locker door, fed up.  
"Alright, Edward? You wanna know? You want to know what it is was about?"  
He turned to me in exasperation. "Yes, Bella. Please?"  
I sighed through clenched teeth. "You were dying. Okay? We were in the meadow, it was beautiful, the sun was shining, you were doing your..." I looked around, and lowered my voice. "You were doing your glitter thing, but then you started... cracking."  
He stayed silent for a few moments, frowning out of trying to prevent laughter. "So, I was the one in trouble."  
"Yup."  
"You were the one who had to try and save me."  
"Yup."  
"And... I was the one close to death?"  
"Not close to it, it happened, Edward. I watched it."  
He didn't take me seriously, what so ever. He burst out into laughter.  
"Oh, that's hilarious Bella, seriously, that's--" he caught a glimpse of my livid expression. "That's awful, that's disastrous, that's something worth counselling for. Of course you'll just have to settle for Carlisle, as any normal psychiatrist would say you were _completely_ crazy..."

I rolled my eyes, and whined. "Edward. Take me seriously for once. Please. I'm not the vulnerable little child you think I am. Well, at least not the child..."

"Hey, Bella!" I heard a voice chime from across the other side of the hall, bringing a smile to my face. If anyone, Alice would brighten up my day.


	4. Sunshine on a Rainy Day

**Sunshine On A Rainy Day**

_Bella_

I span round to greet the newest addition to our awkward gathering. "Hey, Alice!"  
"Hey!" She squeaked, embracing me in an organ crushing hold.  
"Alice... can't... breathe..." I laughed with what little air I had remaining in my lungs.  
"Oh. Sorry, sweetie. How are you?"  
"Eh... I've been better." I laughed without humor.  
"Yeah, I know." She added sarcastically.  
"Oh, my aching sides, Alice." I said, raising one eyebrow. She giggled.  
"Are you going to come and sit with us today, Bella?" Alice asked rhetorically, tugging on my arm in a non-escapable grip towards the cafeteria.  
"I guess, this is just a guess, that I'm going to sit with you. But I have no lunch... of course that'll let me fit in easier, hey?" I laughed.

"...Yeah, okay, Bella." Alice laughed, too. I looked over my shoulder to see if Edward was following, and he was no more than two steps behind me. My legs worked on autopilot as I stared at him, and he stared back, a slight apologetic smile on his face. My face was expressionless, just gazing at him. My imagination worked against me, putting images in my mind to scare me. In my view, Edwards face was perfection, without question, and his perfectly styled bronze hair moved in synchronization with the breeze created by him walking. Ironically, it reminded me of some kind of American Idol contestant introduction. Not that I watched it.

But in my sub conscious mind, I saw the lights of the jostling hallway turn to grey, the same complete atmosphere change I saw in the meadow. The students around us reduced to a blur, fading to a background. His nose fell off, and if I were in any other daydream or hallucination I would have found that slightly humorous. But I couldn't, right now. My imagination took my point of view to the floor, obviously a sign of me passing out, what did it represent? God, I could have sworn my arm hitting the floor felt almost real...

"Bella?"  
"Bella!"  
"Hey, Arizona, are you okay?"

My eyes opened to be greeted with the cold, clammy sweat of my palms face down on the cafeteria lino. Above me I saw a crowd of students, most with false worry dominating their body language. If I hadn't of been seeing double, I would maybe have counted at least thirty of them, gathering round my apparent limp body on the floor. I could just make out Mike; typical of him, I should have been able to match the voice and nickname to the face.


	5. Strange Day

**Strange Day**

_Bella_

I stared into space for a while, oblivious to the worried squeals coming from friends and acquaintances, focusing on random minuscule detail, like how many tiles of foam there were on the cafeteria ceiling, how many dots on each square from what I could see, what color eyes Mike had. I never realized how blue they were.

Eventually, I managed to tune my hearing back to reality. My senses were abused with screams of, "Is she paralyzed?! Get the nurse!", and, "Oh my god, is she having a stroke?".  
The level of stupidity and ignorance of my fellow high school companions never ceases to amaze me.  
I cleared my throat with maximum effort, and sat up.  
"Guys, I'm fine," I croaked. "Oh for Christ's sake," I muttered, clearing my throat again. "I'm okay. Thanks..." I sat up, and looked around for Edward. He was sat at a table about three meters away, in safe distance from risk of any one touching him. I rubbed down my legs of any dirt that was probably laid on the lino, and walked straight through the crowd to see him.  
"I'm sorry," I whispered when I got to him. He smiled and rose from his seat.  
"It's fine, love. Come on," he took hold of my hand and pulled me over to their standard table, as many usually referred to as the "Cullen" table, or the "freak" table. Once sat down, I was greeted by a tray carrying one red apple, a prawn and cress sandwich, and a small bottle of half and half milk, along with two pairs of golden, staring eyes.

I tried my best to eat my lunch - which I'd only just realized I was in dire need of, forgetting breakfast - and ignore the heavy weight of Alice and Edward's gaze resting on me. After a while, it got too much.  
"Look, I know. I'm sorry, that doesn't happen often. As you can probably tell, I'm generally too busy being chased by cannibal vampires and co., travelling to Italy or trying to keep Jacob's gazillion ab muscles under his shirt to have time to faint. Please forgive me," I said sarcastically, getting back to eating my apple. Their stare didn't lift, just got more intense.

"What I would not give to be able to read your mind, right now, Bella. Care to enlighten us?"  
"Saw it coming."  
"Could have guessed."  
I grimaced. "Okay, I had a daydream replay of my nightmare. And my mind went crazy. Sorry. Can we just drop it?"  
"Fine." Alice agreed. "I guess it's better just to let it go, you're generally into much worse trouble anyway."  
"Just one disaster after the other," Edward laughed with Alice. I couldn't help but join in with their musical, chiming laughter, only to ruin it with my human laugh.  
"Leave it," I joked. "But, seriously, Edward, I'm discontinuing your ban. I've decided that your sly is way superior to Charlie's gun and non-supernatural senses. I'll unlock my window tonight."  
Edward laughed. "Thank you, Bella. I was reduced to doing stupid things like homework..." he shuddered, and flashed his teeth in a gorgeous smile.


	6. Safe Dreams?

**A Few Nights Later**

_Bella_

Thursday evening, 10:22 pm. I was sat on my bed, all the space around me was cluttered with revision books: Literature, Math, Additional Math. I hate Thursdays.

I'd left my window open, in fear of being on my own during the night again. Three consecutive nights had now been haunted by the image of Edward's death. I was seriously considering going to see someone about it, before reassuring myself that would only make things worse.  
My heavy purple curtains were pulled closed for show, the audience being Charlie: behind it, the white, bay window hung wide open, welcoming any Cullen's that may want to come and visit me. I had one in particular in mind, as I didn't really like to imagine Emmett watching over me as I slept, cracking jokes and drawing on my face with permanent marker.

10:47 - I finished my Add' Math homework.

1:13 - I finished all the homework, as I dragged it all out as long as I could to put off sleep as long as it took for Edward to arrive. I guessed he was just waiting outside by the porch, lurking around, waiting for Charlie to go to bed. Charlie was still watching the football, but the worrying part was that it had been on the replay channel for four hours, and he just kept watching and re-watching. That man did not hover, but surreptitiously "watching TV" with the volume on mute was probably all the more disconcerting.  
I looked over at the window. The corner of the curtain moved slightly, raising my hopes, and I sat up, ready for Edward to come in. But it was just the wind.

1:23 - Ten minutes later, he still wasn't there. I tried busying myself with packing my books into my back pack for school the next day, very, _very_ slowly.

1:46 - I had begun reading my tattered, worn version of Romeo and Juliet for the millionth time, mouthing the words I had memorized, when I heard the very same beautiful voice that had haunted me for the past few nights.  
"Tired?"  
I looked up to see Edward leaning against my wall, the curtains seemingly unmoved, smiling at me. He had one eyebrow raised, his question dripping with sarcasm.  
I was too relieved to speak properly. There was a long pause before I could get my throat to work with me. "Yes," I said bluntly, not meaning it to sound harsh.  
He laughed quietly, shaking his head. "I could have guessed. It's nearly two in the morning. Go to sleep."  
I cleared my throat. "If I wanted to, I would. If I could. I don't want to dream."

He nodded wisely. "Aaah. I see."  
"Yup."  
"Do you want to sleep?"  
I looked up from my book at him, my eyes showing bags bold enough to speak for themselves.  
"Okay. Come on." He walked over to me, and pulled the duvet up from my waist to my chin, tucking it in around my body.  
"I'm not a child, Edward, I'm capable," I insisted. He merely looked at me, before taking my book and putting it in the corner. He propped up my pillow as if I were out of my daily routine, sick, in need of care. Which wasn't really too far from the truth.  
He pulled up the wooden rocking chair that sat abandoned in the corner, piled high with clean washing that needed putting away, emptied it's seat, and sat down. He entwined his fingers round each other in his lap, and sat there, watching me.

I stared back, sighed, and turned over, closed my eyes, in the hope that because Edward was with me, my mind would be reassured that he wasn't dying of some incurable, fatal disease.


	7. An Attempt in Vain

**An Attempt in Vain**

_Bella_

As soon as my sub-conscious was weary enough to let my brain switch to stand-by, I managed to drift off to sleep, Edward's face in my waking vision fading to black, my eyes drooping.

My dream was pleasant at first, and I had the luck of starting off the dream somewhere that didn't look like the usual nightmare. I was at the Cullen house, in their living room, looking at all of the priceless, ancient ornaments that they had collected over the years, dreading to think what I would be breaking if I accidentally knocked one off the mantelpiece. The room was brightly lit through the glass patio doors, casting a ray of shine on the room, the rare warm feeling of the sun on my skin reminding me of home. But I wasn't home sick.  
It was like a silent movie. One of those dreams were you know what's going on, what they're saying, but you can't hear it: like when you try to remember someone but not their face. I was surprised Charlie Chaplin didn't turn up.  
I span round to be greeted by the entire family, all dressed in very smart attire, evening gowns and tuxedos, a dazzling smile on all of their faces. Esme walked toward me, held her hand out to me in a gesture of welcome. Carlisle followed close behind, and put his arm around my shoulders. Alice and Jasper entered the room, Alice skipping to a silent melody, Jasper shuffling awkwardly behind her, his arms behind his back. His face showed an unusual expression of light heartedness, differing from the usual of concentration and control, restraint. Even Rosalie looked happy... _happy _Rosalie. Accompanied by Emmett, who didn't really look much different.

I wasn't really too sure on the occasion. I looked around. No tinsel, lights, no holly. Christmas checked off. Any symbols of festivity around weren't there. So why was I there?  
The dream went on for about five dream minutes or so, and it was great, just like how my perfect dream should go. But I should have learnt by then that in my dreams the best was always followed by the worst.  
My stomach churned as I turned to the window, looked out at the phenomenal view the Cullen's had the grace of owning. A clear blue sky, just like Phoenix, the very tops of thousands of fir trees creating a blanket below of dark evergreen.

But, as I should have guessed, my smile faded as the clouds descended. The same menacing clouds that haunted my dreams. The same menacing, grey clouds that now blocked out all of the light in the room, leaving me with a surreal image of the living room in grey scale. I turned round slowly in the hope that they'd still be okay.

They were all still smiling. But their smiles had turned to something some what terrified - the kind of smile some one gives when they're as nervous as they're about to walk out onto a stage in front of fifty thousand people naked to sing a song they've never learnt. That kind of sheer terror that only the extreme opposite expression can portray.

Emmett didn't look the same, either. It was too awful to look at. I couldn't even bring myself to glance in Jasper's direction.  
But then... it started to turn into the part I was horribly familiar with. Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, even _Alice_ started to turn grey. The grey in the surroundings looked even more sickly pale and made me back away a little, afraid they'd become possessed like something from a zombie movie. But I already knew how this nightmare would end.

But no - this couldn't be, I thought. I mean, Edward dying before my very eyes was torture enough, but not _all_ of them. Not these kind, selfless, welcoming people that had been my adoptive family for the past year or so. No.

I tried to concentrate my vision, which was now a red blur of fright, on every one of them. I tried in vain to concentrate all my will into making sure they didn't start looking like worn out statues.


	8. The Nightmare Continued

**The Nightmare Continued**

_Bella_

_I looked around, keeping my eyes on every single one of them at the same time as much as possible. They wouldn't turn grey, I would make sure of it.  
Moments passed, and they continued to stare at me, disturbing smiles on the faces, almost hiding a lie. I frowned, and shook my head.  
Glancing around, my eyes caught a glimpse of the calendar on the wall. It was September, hardly matching the weather outside, I thought my self. Scribbly yet elegant, bold, red crosses had been drawn through twelve squares, leaving the thirteenth uncrossed, in which a tiny, cartoon of a birthday cake had been drawn on. My heart thudded into pace, beating twice it's natural rate. I suddeny knew why I was here..._

_I was ageing again._

_I turned back to face the Cullen's again, to meet their stares. I went to speak, to ask them what was going on, but my voice didn't work. Again. I should have learnt by then.  
Suddenly, their eyes all turned to stare at my hand. I frowned, too scared to look. Their eyes had gone from the normal expression, to wide and aware, shocked. I gulped, and raised my hand so I could see, their gaze always following.  
My hand looked okay at a glance. It was it's usual washed out of tan colour, on the top. I flipped it over to see what all the fuss was about - and regretted it instantly.  
The cracks and crevices of my fingers and palm were all now more distinct, as if they had been coloured in with black marker. My washed out tan colour had been washed out further to a sickly greeny-grey, and the sight of it instantly made me think of my previous dream of Edward.  
I opened my mouth to scream, my voice box frozen, still not letting me show any signals for help. My nails, that in my sub-conscious world had obviously been bitten from worry, for whatever reason - even turned grey, too, like they had been painted, highlighting their grotty state.  
I looked back up to see their faces, and they were all still the same. They had lost their state of shock and surprise, and had regained the spooky grin. Esme stepped forward, smiling at my as if with sympathy. She placed one hand on my shoulder, which in my dream-enhanced senses was icy cold. She opened her mouth to speak, and I expected nothing, however I got the opposite._

_"Happy birthday."_


End file.
